Do these skinnies make my diapered butt look big?
Personally, I’m still trying to recover from those denim diapers by Huggies. But fashion forward babies and toddlers are now trying to stuff their lovely fat rolls and full diapers into those denim sausage casings known as skinny jeans.
Let me be clear, I’m a huge fan of skinnies. I own several pairs of J Brand which I live in because they are comfortable, stretchy and flattering. I’m also a hard-eyed realist about my body type and I happen to be built like a 14-year-old boy, top and bottom. I have shoulders broader than my hips. I haven’t graduated from a training bra and won’t be caught dead in cap sleeves for fear of looking like a junior high linebacker, but damnit, at least I can wear skinny jeans and they stay up and over my narrow backside.
That being said, let me mention I hate the name “skinny jeans” because I think they endorse magical, delusional thinking. Squeezing into a pair doesn’t magically make you skinny. You won’t actually look skinnier wearing them unless you already kind of, sort of are.
But luckily, babies and toddlers don’t have to worry about hiding figure flaws. The yummy thing about them are their rolls and rolls of baby fat. I can’t get enough of them. Aesthetically, I don’t think skinny jeans are any more offensive than leggings on baby girls and I get a kick out of seeing those chub rolls showcased by all that tight denim. It’s too cute!
But practically speaking, they’re a nightmare. What bugs me about this trend is seeing toddler girls unable to lift their leg to climb onto a play structure because their jeans are too tight and cry in frustration. Yes, I’ve witnessed this firsthand at birthday parties or indoor play structures. Plus, there’s no snaps or buttons for easy access to diapers and both mom and baby work themselves up into a red-faced lather trying to get these skinnies off and then back on over chubby thighs and puffy pampers. Suffering for beauty is inevitable, but can’t we wait until little girls are at least out of kindergarten to burden them with this reality?
Also, this may be unkind of me to point out, but some moms who are dolling their daughters up like Baby Gap ads are clearly living a little too vicariously through them. I can’t tell you how many moms have somehow gotten out of the habit of regular grooming for themselves while their tiny daughters are fierce fashionistas and have every accessory imaginable.
Yes, us moms are tired and overwhelmed – I live that life too. But I think a mom would set a better example for her daughter by taking care of her own health and hygiene and making that a priority as well. That means taking a regular shower, wearing clothes without spit-up or food stains, and brushing your hair. It means buying some clothes that fit you at the size you are right now. It means exercising semi-regularly and getting hair cuts. Most importantly, it means modeling to your children that being a mom doesn’t mean you have to give up on yourself.
So just a note to those unwashed mom masses – when you’re buying those baby jeggings or skinny jeans, I dare you to consider buying yourself a pair first before encasing your mini-me into a pair.